Getting Out of the Way: The Mentality Shift Behind Real Team Performance

Happy Wednesday!

Welcome to Leadership Unscripted. Each edition, we share 1 Case Study, 1 Framework, 1 Question. These are real moments and practical strategies for rethinking your approach to leadership.

Let’s dive in.

When Mia was promoted to Chief People Officer at a late-stage technology company, she inherited a culture shaped by one popular phrase:

“We’re one big family.”

It was stated in the onboarding slides. In company-wide emails. Even on t-shirts from an old off-site.

At first, it felt like a warm embrace. But over time, cracks started to show.

One team lead avoided a performance conversation with an underperformer because they “didn’t want to hurt a family member.”
A manager gave feedback so gently it wasn’t feedback at all.
And when a department restructuring was announced, the team didn’t just feel disappointed—they felt betrayed.

Here’s the thing: when you call your team a family, you blur the lines. You raise expectations you can’t meet. And you risk guilt, avoidance, and unclear accountability.

Mia realized the metaphor wasn’t helping. It was hurting clarity, boundaries, and trust.

So she made a bold move. In a company-wide meeting, she said:

"We’re not a family. We’re a team. And that’s not lesser—it’s better."

A family can be messy and emotional and unconditional.
But a high-performing team? It takes intention. Shared goals. Clear norms. Real feedback. Trust.

It also means people can leave—and still be treated with respect.

The shift helped reset the culture. Leaders had permission to lead. Teams felt more grounded. Employees felt empowered. And decisions stopped feeling personal—they started feeling principled.

People don’t need another “work family.”
They need a team and organization built on trust, collaboration, and alignment.  

They need a team that works.

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1 Framework

From Family to Team: Language Swap List

Have you thought about your team as your ‘family’? Consider the repercussions that happened with Mia.  Think about the words and terminology you use.  Stay away from blurry metaphors and use language setting clear, team-oriented expectations.  Consider your answers to the questions below. 

Are you a Yes or No?.  If yes, consider how you might want to rephrase your language.

• “We’re one big family” 

• “We take care of our own”  

• “Once you’re here, you’re here for good” 

• “We’re a high-performing team with shared goals”

• “We support each other—and hold each other accountable”

• “We want you to grow with us—but we also honor when paths diverge.”

• “Our leaders are here to help you grow and develop your career path aligning with what works for you.”

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1 Question

Consider how you speak with your team and direct reports. 👉What’s one phrase or message you’ve used, possibly blurring the line between team and family—and how might you say it differently?

More to Think About:

• Calling a team a family may sound warm—but it makes it harder to hold boundaries and make necessary decisions.

• Clarity builds trust. When people know what to expect, they don’t personalize performance feedback or structural changes.

• The most engaged employees don’t need to feel like they’re at a family reunion—they need to feel like they’re on a team winning together.

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Let’s Keep the Conversation Going

Have you made the shift from “family” to “team” language in your culture? How did it land with your people? Hit reply and share your experience.

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Real Stories. Real Tools. Real Impact.

Forget the fluff. We’re that company, revealing behind-the-scenes leadership wins and strategies that actually work.

Because all it takes is one bold move to shatter barriers, inspire your team, and make your mark.